Favorite quote ever!
Some basic guidelines on communication in relationships: Tell me what you want. Don’t assume what I want. Don’t tell me what you want in terms of what you think I want. Start with what you want. And listen to what I want. Then we can figure it out from there.
Excellent advice!
Saturday was going well, and then the old group shows up. They even brought the ex(who insisted that she hated that place and would never go again). Now, I’m mostly fine seeing them at events. But I really need some notice. That was a safe place for me. Thats where I get to socialize and don’t have to worry about stupid drama. I didn’t even bring a date.
Luckily Z was there. Not only did he take my mind off the recent break ups with deliciously rough sex, but he stuck by me the whole night. I was a really bad sex party non date. Being all emotional and smothering Luckily I did a good job smothering him with my vagina as well. The hubby tells me that my willingness to jump into bed with new friends is the reason that these messy cluster fuck breakups happen. But that’s me. I can’t let them change my behavior. I need to find people that actually like me. Not change for the ones that don’t, but pretend to. Or really, the ones that just like Josh.
So this weekend was proof that I can make real friends, even if I’m inspired to jump into bed with them immediately. Because Z is really quite inspiring;)
What does casual racism look like in LGBTQ spaces? A lot like casual racism everywhere else.
Casual racism thinks mixed race people are “exotic,” penis size is determined by race according to “some studies” that probably don’t exist, black women are aggressive, and just about every other common racial stereotype under the sun.
Really, stereotypes fuel casual racism in all its forms.
Casual racism also thinks that LGBTQ people have transcended all responsibility for dealing with racial issues.
For example, if you’re a queer person of color who wants to vocalize a racial concern in a predominantly white queer space and casual racism rears its head, you could be accused of being divisive (extra irony points if you were pointing out divisiveness that actually exists).
Sometimes casual racism masquerades as inclusion or open mindedness. For example, there are some gay people who go out of their way to date someone of another race just to say they’ve done it.
Such gays then receive the Congratulatory Cookie of Open Mindedness from people of color for letting us sleep with them.
But not really, because dating someone because of their race is as ridiculous as rejecting someone because of their race.
The same applies to predominately white gay groups that go out of their way to snag token people of color (oblivious to the fact that these spaces don’t always feel inclusive to the people of color in question).
Tokenism may seem progressive on its surface, but it’s really just another form of othering.
So if you see casual racism, remember it. And talk about it.
Notice if you’re ever guilty of it and, if you are, take responsibility for it.
I would say explain it to other white LGBTQ people, but it’s frustrating when it takes a white person saying the same thing people of color have been saying for ages to convince other white people to change their actions.
Instead, tell them to take the race related concerns of LGBTQ people of color seriously – as in listen to us.
As LGBTQ people, we get silenced all the time, told we’re too sensitive, told not to flaunt our sexuality.
Sexual minorities of color can find themselves silenced further when their concerns about race are dismissed by the predominantly white, mainstream LGBTQ community.
Let’s keep working to change that.
—Jarune Uwujaren, “How White LGBTQ People Can Be Inclusive Of People Of Color,” Everyday Feminism 2/5/13 (via racialicious)
HASHTAG YES EVERYTHING.
(via polycule)
Being an adult means that when you crave that feeling of endorphin giving control you used to get cutting yourself, and instead reaching out to a sexy lady you met at a party a while back that loves using canes to make pretty girls cry.
You can only cry so long when your poly cluster implodes. Now it’s time for sweet sweet pain.
I will cry for an old partner that recently passed(and was quite good with a cane himself), for the sadness leaving me and for the happiness of new connections being made. I can’t wait!
How. HOW did they get away with this. How did I not understand what I was seeing as a kid!!
I got it as a kid;)
(Source: ruinedchildhood)
